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 مجموعه جوک های زیبا 2

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amir*ashena*max
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PostSubject: مجموعه جوک های زیبا 2   Sun Nov 24, 2013 4:40 pm

ﻗﺎﺿﯽ :ﺷﮑﺎﯾﺖ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺍﺯ ﺍﯾﻦ ﺍﻗﺎ ﺍﯾﻨﻪ ﮐﻪ ﺑﻪ ﺷﻤﺎ
ﮔﻔﺘﻪ: ﺍﺣﻤﻖ ، ﺑﯿﺸﻌﻮﺭ ، ﻧﻔﻬﻢ...
ﺷﺎﮐﯽ :ﺑﻠﻪ.ﻋﯿﻦ ﺣﻘﯿﻘﺘﻪ.
ﻗﺎﺿﯽ:ﭘﺲ ﺍﮔﻪ ﻋﯿﻦ ﺣﻘﯿﻘﺘﻪ ﭼﺮﺍ ﺷﮑﺎﯾﺖ ﮐﺮﺩﯼ؟
ﻳﻪ ﭼﻮﺏ ﻛﺒﺮﻳﺘﻪ ﺳﺮﺵ ﺭﻭ ﻣﻲ ﺧﻮﺍﺭﻭﻧﻪ ﺁﺗﻴﺶ ﻣﻲ
ﮔﻴﺮﻩ
ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﻋﻴﻨﻜﺶ ﺭﺍ ﺩﻭﺭ ﺩﺳﺘﺶ ﻣﯽ ﭼﺮﺧﻮﻧﻪ ﺑﻌﺪ
ﻣﯿﺰﻧﻪ ﭼﺸﺶ، ﺳﺮﺵ ﮔﯿﺞ ﻣﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﯿﺨﻮﺭﻩ ﺯﻣﯿﻦ!
ﻭﻗﺘﻲ ﺯﻧﺖ ﺧﻮﻧﻪ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ ﭼﻪ ﻛﺎﺭ ﻣﻲﻛﻨﻲ؟ ﺍﺳﺘﺮﺍﺣﺖ.
ﻭﻗﺘﻲ ﻫﺴﺖ ﭼﻲ؟ ﺍﺳﺘﻘﺎﻣﺖ
ﮔﻮﺷﻪ ﺍﯼ ﺍﺯ ﻧﺎﻣﻪ ﻋﺎﺷﻘﺎﻧﻪ ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﺑﻪ ﺯﻧﺶ : ﺑﺪﻭﻥ
ﺗﻮﻱ ﺩﻧﻴﺎ ﻳﻪ ﻗﻠﺐ ﻫﺴﺖ ﻛﻪ ﻓﻘﻂ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺗﻮ ﻣﻴﺘﭙﻪ ﺍﻭﻧﻢ
ﻗﻠﺐ ﺧﻮﺩﺕ
ﺑﻪ ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﻣﻴﮕﻦ ﭼﺮﺍ ﻣﻴﺮﻱ ﺳﺮﺑﺎﺯﻱ؟ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ ﻭﺍﻻ
ﻓﻘﻂ ﺑﻪ ﺧﺎﻃﺮ ﻣﺮﺧﺼﻲ ﻫﺎﺵ
ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ ﺁﺏ ﺟﻮﺵ ﻣﻴﺮﻳﺨﺘﻪ ﺗﻮﻱ ﺑﺎﻏﭽﻪ! ﺑﻬﺶ
ﻣﻴﮕﻦ: ﭼﺮﺍ ﺁﺏ ﺟﻮﺵ ﻣﻴﺮﻳﺰﯼ ﺗﻮ ﺑﺎﻏﭽﻪ؟؟ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ:
ﺁﺧﻪ ﭼﺎﻱ ﻛﺎﺷﺘﻢ.
ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﻣﻲﻣﻴﺮﻩ، ﻣﻲﺑﺮﻧﺶ ﺑﻬﺸﺖ. ﺩﻭ ﺳﻪ ﺭﻭﺯ
ﻣﻲﮔﺬﺭﻩ، ‌ﻳﻚ ﺭﻭﺯ ﻣﻴﺎﻥ ﺍﺯﺵ ﻣﻲﭘﺮﺳﻨﺪ ﻛﻪ ﻫﻤﻪ
ﭼﻲ ﻣﻴﺰﻭﻥ ﻫﺴﺖ ﻳﺎ ﻧﻪ، ﻣﻴﮕﻪ: ﻭﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻫﻤﻪ ﭼﻴﺰ
ﻋﺎﻟﻴﻪ، ﻓﻘﻂ ﻛﻤﻲ ﻫﻮﺍ ﺳﺮﺩﻩ! ﻣﻲﺑﺮﻧﺶ ﺩﻡ ﻣﺮﺯ ﺟﻬﻨﻢ
ﻛﻪ ﻳﺨﺮﺩﻩ ﮔﺮﻣﺎﻱ ﺟﻬﻨﻢ ﺑﺨﻮﺭﻩ ﺑﻬﺶ، ﻛﻪ ﮔﺮﻡ
ﺷﻪ. ﺩﻭﺑﺎﺭﻩ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺍﺯ ﭼﻨﺪ ﺭﻭﺯ ﻣﻴﺎﻥ ﻣﻲﭘﺮﺳﻨﺪ: ﺧﻮﺏ
ﺍﻭﺿﺎﻉ ﭼﻄﻮﺭﻩ؟
ﻣﻴﮕﻪ :ﻭﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻫﻤﻪﭼﻲ ﺧﻮﺑﻪ، ﻭﻟﻲ ﻫﻨﻮﺯ ﻳﻪ ﺫﺭﻩ ﺳﻮﺯ
ﻣﻴﺎﺩ! ﻣﻴﮕﻦ ﺑﺎﺑﺎ ﺗﻮ ﺍﺻﻼ" ﻟﻴﺎﻗﺖ ﺑﻬﺸﺖ ﺭﻭ ﻧﺪﺍﺭﻱ،
ﻣﻴﻨﺪﺍﺯﻧﺶ ﺗﻮ ﺟﻬﻨﻢ! ﺑﻌﺪ ﺍﺯ ﭼﻨﺪ ﺭﻭﺯ ﻣﻴﺎﻥ، ﻣﻲﭘﺮﺳﻨﺪ:
ﺧﻮﺏ ﺑﺎﻻﺧﺮﻩ ﮔﺮﻡ ﺷﺪﻱ؟ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ: ﻭﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﺍﻳﻨﺠﺎ ﺑﻬﺘﺮﻩ،
ﻭﻟﻲ ﻫﻨﻮﺯ ﻫﻢ ﻳﻪ ﺫﺭﻩ ﺳﻮﺯ ﻣﻴﺎﺩ! ﺷﺎﻛﻲ ﻣﻲﺷﻨﺪ
ﻣﻴﻨﺪﺍﺯﻧﺶ ﻃﺒﻘﻪ ﻫﻔﺘﻢ ﺟﻬﻨﻢ، ﺗﻮ ﻣﺮﻛﺰ ﺁﺗﻴﺶ. ﭼﻨﺪ
ﺭﻭﺯ ﻣﻲﮔﺬﺭﻩ ، ﻣﻴﺎﻥ ﺑﻬﺶ ﺳﺮ ﺑﺰﻧﻦ ﺑﺒﻴﻨﻴﻨﺪ ﺍﻭﺿﺎﻉ
ﺍﺣﻮﺍﻟﺶ ﭼﻄﻮﺭﻩ. ﺗﺎ ﺩﺭﻭ ﺑﺎﺯ ﻣﻲﻛﻨﻨﺪ، ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﺩﺍﺩ
ﻣﻴﺰﻧﻪ‌ :ﺩﺍﺩﺍﺵ ﺍﻭﻥ ﺩﺭﻭ ﺑﺒﻨﺪ، ﻳﺦ ﻛﺮﺩﻳﻢ.
ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﻋﺎﺷﻖ ﻣﻲ ﺷﻪ ﺭﻭﻱ ﺩﺭ ﺧﻮﻧﺶ ﻣﻲ ﻧﻮﻳﺴﻪ
ﺑﺰﻭﺩﻱ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﺤﻞ ﺟﺸﻦ ﻋﺮﻭﺳﻲ ﺑﺮﮔﺰﺍﺭ ﻣﻲ ﺷﻮﺩ.
ﺩﻭ ﺗﺎ ﻣﺎﺷﻴﻦ ﺑﺎ ﻫﻢ ﺗﺼﺎﺩﻑ ﻣﻲﻛﻨﻨﺪ. ﺍﻓﺴﺮ ﻣﻴﺎﺩ ﻭ
ﻣﻲﭘﺮﺳﻪ: ﻛﺪﻭﻣﺘﻮﻥ ﻣﻘﺼﺮ ﺑﻮﺩﻳﺪ؟ ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ:
ﻭﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺧﻮﺍﺏ ﺑﻮﺩﻡ، ﻧﺪﻳﺪﻡ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻳﺸﻮﻥ ﺑﭙﺮﺳﻴﺪ.
ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ ﺩﻧﺒﺎﻝ ﺟﺎﻱ ﭘﺎﺭﻙ ﻣﻲ ﮔﺸﺘﻪ ﺍﻣﺎ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ
ﻧﻤﻲ ﻛﺮﺩ! ﺩﺭ ﻫﻤﻮﻥ ﺣﺎﻝ ﮔﺸﺘﻦ ﺑﻪ ﺧﺪﺍ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ:
ﺧﺪﺍﻳﺎ ﺍﮔﻪ ﻳﻪ ﺟﺎﻱ ﭘﺎﺭﻙ ﺑﺮﺍﻡ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﻛﻨﻴﺎ ﻣﻦ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ
ﻣﻲ ﺧﻮﻧﻢ، ﺭﻭﺯﻩ ﻣﻲ ﮔﻴﺮﻡ ﻛﻪ ﻳﻪ ﺩﻓﻌﻪ ﻳﻪ ﺟﺎﻱ
ﭘﺎﺭﻙ ﻣﻲ ﺑﻴﻨﻪ ﻭ ﺑﻪ ﺧﺪﺍ ﻣﻲ ﮔﻪ! ﺧﺪﺍ ﺟﻮﻥ ﻧﻤﻲ
ﺧﻮﺍﺩﺧﻮﺩﻡ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﻛﺮﺩﻡ.
ﻗﺰﻭﻳﻨﻲ ﻫﺎ ﺑﻪ ﺗﻮﺍﻟﺖ ﻣﻴﮕﻦ ﺯﻭﺭﺧﻮﻧﻪ
ﺍﺯ ﻳﻪ ﺑﺴﻴﺠﻴﻪ ﻣﻲ ﭘﺮﺳﻦ : ﺩﻭ ﺧﻂ ﻣﻮﺍﺯﻱ ﭼﻴﻪ ؟
ﻣﻴﮕﻪ : ﺩﻭ ﺧﻂ ﻣﻮﺍﺯﻱ ﺩﻭ ﺧﻄﻲ ﻫﺴﺘﻨﺪ ﮐﻪ ﻫﻴﭻ
ﮔﺎﻩ ﺑﻬﻢ ﻧﻤﻴﺮﺳﻦ ، ﻣﮕﺮ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺳﺘﻮﺭ ﻣﻘﺎﻡ ﻣﻌﻈﻢ
ﺭﻫﺒﺮﻱ!
ﻳﻪ ﺭﻭﺯ ﻳﻪ ﻳﺎﺭﻭﻛﻔﺘﺮ ﺑﺎﺯﻩ ﻣﻴﺸﻨﻮﻩ ﺗﻮ ﻗﺰﻭﻳﻦ
ﻛﻔﺘﺮﻱ ﻫﺴﺘﺶ ﻛﻪ ﺑﺎ ﻳﻪ ﺑﺎﻝ ﭘﺮﻭﺍﺯ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﻪ ﻣﻴﺮﻩ ﻭ
ﺍﻭﻧﻮ ﻣﻴﺨﺮﻩ ﻣﻴﺒﺮﻩ ﺷﻬﺮ ، ﺧﻮﺩﺷﻮﻥ ﻭﻟﻲ ﻣﻴﺒﻴﻨﻪ
ﻛﻔﺘﺮﻩ ﺑﺎﺩﻭ ﺑﺎﻝ ﭘﺮﻭﺍﺯ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﻪ ﺷﺎﻛﻲ ﻣﻴﺸﻪ
ﺑﺮﻣﻴﮕﺮﺩﻩ ﻗﺰﻭﻳﻦ ﭘﻴﺶ ﻓﺮﻭﺷﻨﺪﺵ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ ﻋﻮﺿﻲ ،
ﺍﻳﻦ ﻛﻪ ﺩﺭﺳﺖ ﭘﺮﻭﺍﺯ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﻪ !!! ﻳﺎﺭﻭ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ ﺑﺎﻻﻡ
ﺟﺎﻥ ﺍﻳﻨﺠﺎ ﮔﺰﻭﻳﻨﻪ ﻭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻛﻔﺘﺮﻡ ﺍﺯ ﺗﺮﺱ ﻛﻮﻧﺶ
ﻳﻪ ﺑﺎﻟﺸﻮ ، ﻣﻴﮕﻴﺮﻩ ﺩﺭ ﻛﻮﻧﺶ ﻭ ﭘﺮﻭﺍﺯ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﻪ.
ﺑﻪ ﯾﺎﺭﻭ ﻣﻴﮕﻦ ﻳﻚ ﺟﻤﻠﻪ ﺑﮕﻮ ﺗﻮﺵ 6 ﺗﺎ ﺑﻴﻞ
ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﻪ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ: ﻭﺍﻻ ﻧﻤﻴﺪﺍﻧﻢ ﻫﺎﺑﻴﻞ ﺑﺎ ﺑﻴﻞ ﻗﺎﺑﻴﻠﻮ
ﻛﺸﺖ ﻳﺎ ﻗﺎﺑﻴﻞ ﺑﺎ ﺑﻴﻞ ﻫﺎﺑﻴﻠﻮ ﻛﺸﺖ
ﻳﻪ ﺭﻭﺯ ﻳﻪ ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﺗﻮ ﺟﻮﻱ ﺍﺏ ﺗﻒ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﻪ... ﻣﻴﺪﻭ
ﺩﻧﺒﺎﻟﺶ ﺗﺎﭘﺎﺵ ﺭﻭ ﺭﻭﺵ ﺑﺰﺍﺭﻩ
ﻳﻪ ﺭﻭﺯ ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﺑﻪ ﺯﻧﺶ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ ﺑﻴﺎ ﻫﺮ ﭘﻨﺠﺸﻨﺒﻪ ﺑﺮﻳﻢ
ﭘﻴﺘﺰﺍﻳﻲ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺯﻧﺶ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ ﻧﻪ ﭘﻨﺠﺸﻨﺒﻪ ﺩﻳﺮﻩ ﺑﻴﺎ ﻫﺮ
ﺩﻭﺷﻨﺒﻪ ﺑﺮﻳﻢ
ﻏﻀﻨﻔﺮ ﺑﻪ ﺯﻧﺶ ﻣﯿﮕﻪ ﺳﻪ ﺗﺎ ﺣﯿﻮﻭﻥ ﺭﻭ ﻧﺎ ﺑﺒﺮ ﮐﻪ
ﺑﺎ ﺣﺮﻑ ﺥ ﺷﺮﻭﻉ ﺑﺸﻪ ﻣﯿﮕﻪ ﺧﻮﺩﺕ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮﺕ ﺧﺪﺍ
ﺑﯿﺎﻣﺮﺯ ﻣﺎﺩﺭﺕ
ﻳﺎﺭﻭ ﺗﻮ ﻗﺰﻭﻳﻦ ﺑﻮﺩﻩ ﭘﻮﻟﺶ ﺍﻓﺘﺎﺩﻩ ﺑﻮﺩﻩ ﺯﻣﻴﻦ....ﻭﻟﻲ
ﺩﻭﻻ ﻧﻤﻴﺸﺪﻩ ﺑﺮﺵ ﺩﺍﺭﻩ ، ﻳﻪ ﭘﻴﺮﻣﺮﺩﻩ ﻣﻴﺎﺩ ﺑﻬﺶ
ﻣﻴﮕﻪ ﺑﺎﻻﻡ ﺟﺎﻥ ﺭﺍ ﭘﻮﻟﺘﻮ ﺑﺮ ﻧﻤﻴﺪﺍﺭﻱ...؟؟ ﻳﺎﺭﻭ
ﻣﻴﮕﻪ: ﺑﺎﺑﺎ ﺍﻳﻨﺠﺎ ﻗﺰﻭﻳﻨﻪ...ﺧﻄﺮﻧﺎﻛﻪ...ﭘﻴﺮﻣﺮﺩﻩ
ﻣﻴﮕﻪ: ﻧﻪ ﺑﺎﺑﺎ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺣﺮﻓﺎ ﻣﺎﻟﻪ ﻗﺪﻳﻤﻪ...ﺍﻳﻨﺠﺎ ﻋﻮﺽ
ﺷﺪﻩ .ﻳﺎﺭﻭ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ ﺭﺍﺳﺘﻲ؟؟؟ﭘﻴﺮ ﻣﺮﺩﻩ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ: ﺁﺭﻩ ﺑﺎﺑﺎ
ﻳﺎﺭﻭ ﺗﺎ ﺩﻭﻻ ﻣﻴﺸﻪ ﭘﻮﻟﺸﻮ ﺑﺮﺩﺍﺭﻩ
ﭘﻴﺮﻣﺮﺩ ..................ﻳﺎﺭﻭ ﺷﺎﮐﻲ ﻣﻴﺸﻪ
ﻣﻴﮕﻪ:ﻣﺮﺗﻴﻜﻪ ﻋﻮﺿﻲ ﻣﮕﻪ ﻧﮕﻔﺘﻲ ﺍﻳﻨﺠﺎ ﻋﻮﺽ
ﺷﺪﻩ... ﺍﻳﻦ ﻛﺎﺭﺍ ﻣﺎﻟﻪ ﻗﺪﻳﻤﻪ؟؟؟؟ ﭘﻴﺮ ﻣﺮﺩ ﻣﻴﮕﻪ:
ﺧﻮﺏ ﺑﺎﻻﻡ ﺟﺎﻥ ﻣﻨﻢ ﻣﺎﻟﻪ ﻗﺪﻳﻤﻢ ﺩﻳﮓ
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amir*ashena*max
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PostSubject: bezan like ro   Sun Nov 24, 2013 4:55 pm

bezan like ro
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مجموعه جوک های زیبا 2
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